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Joke of the Day

"What do catholic priests and McDonalds workers have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns."

"What do you call a preponderance of the evidence that your drink has been compromised? Probable Cosby"

"[mission] CMDR: Did everyone sync their watches? ME: Yeah and now it doesn't work CMDR: What? Let me see ME: I can't...it's in the sink"

"What do bulimic stone masons do? Binge and parge."

"Why did the fish's car break down? It needed a tuna-up."

"Black Lives Matter movement organizers lied about total number of followers. It turns out the movement is only three fifths as big as they say it is."

"I have what CNN is calling 'snow fatigue' symptoms include: Being tired of winter A sudden desire for spring Thoughts of murderous rage"

"Poop When you say the word ""poop"" you mouth makes the same motion as your butt hole when you poop. Sam with diarrhea."

"My wife said I should compliment her features more often... ... So I slashed her face."

"Feeding some weed to the turkey so it will already be baked when we kill it... Will save sooo much time !"