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Joke of the Day

"What do michael jackson and Mcdonald's have in common? they both put thirty year old meat in five year old buns"

"I could be the next American Idol!! If they could just let me bring my shower on stage..."

"Wearing shades inside makes me look cool, right? *Trips over the cat*"

"The worst part of going on a date with a guy I don't like is how my grandma always dies before our food gets there."

"Whiteboards. They're remarkable."

"Damn, girl, are you a map? Because you give me D-rections."

"I tried to buy a new boomerang today but I couldn't throw my old one away."

"What's the difference between a hormone and an enzyme? You can't hear an enzyme"

"What's the loudest economic system? CAPITALISM"

"Usain Bolt doesn't know shit bout speed compared to a parent putting their hand over their kids mouth when they see someone w/ an eye patch."