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Joke of the Day

"I could be the next American Idol!! If they could just let me bring my shower on stage..."

"My nose was clogged the other day. A dutch woman kicked me right in the face."

"Can you guess how many turkeys we're gonna serve tomorrow? Turkey-two j.k. we don't celebrate thanksgiving here lol happy normal day to us"

"Let me tell you a joke. A mathematician walks into a bar and says.. ""Let me tell you a joke. A mathematician walks into a bar and says.."""

"Today, I walked into a restaurant. ""Hi, is my table ready?"" ""No, not yet sir. Do you mind waiting?"" ""No, that's okay."" ""Great, take these salads to table six then."""

"I phoned up the fishing helpline today. I said, ""I'm crap at fishing and need some tips"". The man said, ""Okay, can you hold the line?"" I said, ""No""."

"What's 12 inches long and stiff in the morning? Cot death."

"Whoever smelt it, dealt it So technically officer, that weed is yours."

"New Scientist magazine reports that a team of British engineers in Bristol have developed a car that runs on human shit ...I bet that ""new car smell"" doesn't last very f*cking long."

"Did you guys hear that the hadron accelerator exploded? It was mass murder."