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Joke of the Day
"What pokemon does South America have that other continents don't? Zikachu."
Next Joke
"Did you hear Jesus won all the swimming events? He walked it."
"[identifying body] Cop: this him? Me: yea Cop: he's burnt pretty bad huh Me: yea Cop: ... Me: ... Cop: prolly get a discount on cremation"
"Me: How many times are you going to lick my nose in your lifetime? Dog: "
"The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken"
"What did the pony say to the doctor when he had a sore throat? I'm a little hoarse."
"A man on the subway awoke to an early morning blowjob. He had left his mouth open while he was sleeping"
"I'm trying, but all the Liam Neeson jokes are taken."
"Next time I cut out eyes in a painting to watch people from behind the wall, I'll use a portrait instead of a landscape."
"[date] Her: ""Well, the horoscopes pretty much govern my life, I'm a sagittarius, what are you?"" Me: *halfway out the door* ""Educated."""