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Joke of the Day
"I just heard a guy arguing with his oven. Things got pretty heated."
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"I feel like the average weatherman is just meteor-ocre."
"A Mexican magician says that he can disappear on the count of three. ""Uno, dos..."", he says before he was suddenly gone. He disappeared without a tres."
"How man Jews can you fit in a Mercedes? A few thousand. They all fit in the ashtray"
"Just saw a 13 year old kid reading an actual newspaper. I stopped and asked of he was okay, and if he'd lost his phone."
"I had sex with Adele last night... I was rolling in the deep."
"I'm 70% water and 40% bad at math."
"As it turns out, if you're with a group of people, it's ""Christmas caroling."" If you do it alone it's ""creating a public nuisance."""
"What's worse than a blowjob from Willie Nelson? That ain't Willie Nelson."
"The only thing worse than sitting down on a cold toilet seat is sitting down on a warm toilet seat."