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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference? What's the difference between a colorful explosion in the sky and a black person? Fire works."

"Yo mama's so fat When she backed up her pictures to iCloud, the entire sky fell."

"Her: I bet you forgot it. Him: I have a photographic memory. [shakes violently] Her: ? Him: Sorry, it's a Polaroid. Is it Becky? Her: NO"

"You deserve a handjob from Edward Scissorhands."

"Please follow the instructions 1) Read all instructions 2) Sacrifice a goat 3) Cut off your fingers 4) Eat glass 5) Only do number one"

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese"

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

"Had no idea why my salad was $175, 'til the waiter explained that they only use Beets by Dre."

"A strange sense of humor. Surprisingly, but the long walks on the moor very breathtakingly."

"Don't judge women by kilos, and you won't be judged by centimeters."