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Joke of the Day

"Don't judge women by kilos, and you won't be judged by centimeters."

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"Spiders always act like they know some big secret but they don't know shit."
"I could add boolean operators to my search... OR NOT"
"The guy two cubes down wears vests, curls his mustache, and never says a word. I always smile politely because maybe he'll spare my life."
"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I never had a garbanzo bean on my face."
"Someone just told me that they hate bacon... I can't even find words... It's like someone just murdered a rainbow."
"Artistic people of Reddit, what is being artistic really like? And can I get fries with that?"
"My dad put a lot of pressure on me as a child. He used to say stuff like, ""You're five years old? When I was your age, I was six"""
"What kind of tree would have the best bark? Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P"
"Social Security. Get it? You will when you're 65."