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Joke of the Day

"Had no idea why my salad was $175, 'til the waiter explained that they only use Beets by Dre."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, But i dont know how they would get inside of it!"

"What weighs 2 lbs and is full of shit? Donald Trump's shoes"

"How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb? None if nobody's looking."

"If you get sexted by someone you don't like...does that mean you got molexted?"

"Policeman: Why did you lead me on a high-speed chase? Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slow one."

"Breaking up with Japanese Girl Was Hard... I recently had to break up with my girlfriend who was Japanese and it was hard, I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message."

"Being an adult means never having to show your work on a math problem. It's as awesome as it sounds, kids."

"*returns four pounds of skirt steak to butcher* I'm sorry. This just doesn't fit me like I thought it would."

"I would never tell a rape joke It would be too forced"