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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how Michael Jackson really died? He ate a 3 year old wiener."

"What's pink and hard when it goes in, and soft and wet when it comes out? Bubble gum."

"Ok fine, I'll weigh in: every museum needs to lose that one room that's just old bowls."

"I tried to take on ISIS with a shotgun. Iraq'd and then Iran"

"A father takes his son fishing Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish? Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water Son: What next? Dad: What happens next will shock you!"

"What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down? He fell on his ash."

"A vegan, an atheist, and a CrossFit enthusiast walk into a bar. I only know because they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it."

"the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i'm all embarrassed 'cause i'm not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there."

"Happy April Foo... ...oh shit"