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Joke of the Day

"the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i'm all embarrassed 'cause i'm not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed."

"Whats the worse thing about getting a blowjob from an anorexic girl? They never swallow."

"Me: Do you have any wrongdog? ""Ugh fine what's wrongdog"" Me: thank you so much for asking I'm doing terrible"

"What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"Teacher: Why are you late? Boy: My fish died. Teacher: What fish? Boy: You don't know him he goes to different school."

"Uh oh I planned two dates today thinking one of them would cancel and now I have to come up with a lie and quick"

"What does a Jewish pedophile say to an 8 year old boy? Hey little boy, want to buy some candy?"

"My dad told me that the future was in my hands Didn't know that the future was 9 inches long"

"I like my coffee how I like my tea Like my coffee"

"What is the last thing to go through a sea gull's mind when it gets hit by a jumbo jet? It's ass."