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Joke of the Day
"Why did the golfer wear two pants? He got a hole in one"
Next Joke
"You heard what Pedro the weatherman reported? Chili today, hot tamale"
"Q: Older Brother: ""Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"" A: Younger Brother: ""So what? I'm four!"""
"Two Flies Two flies were sitting on a turd. One of the flies farts. The other fly looks at him and says, ""Hey! Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here."""
"I bought some shoes from my drug dealer... But I don't think they were laced because I've been tripping all day."
"My phone died... There won't be any service."
"My mate called me an idiot for always getting my idioms wrong but it takes one to know someone."
"I'm teaching my dog to jump through burning hoops. This is my 12th dog."
"I really miss Jake. And Clyde. And Marissa. Gina too. I should stop naming my cupcakes right before I eat them. :("
"Baltimore, eat a snickers. You turn into Ferguson when you're hungry."