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Joke of the Day

"Q: Older Brother: ""Hooray! School's out! I'm free! I'm free!"" A: Younger Brother: ""So what? I'm four!"""

"Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day."

"*walks up to little girl* ""Honey, is your dad in jail?"" ""No, why?"" ""Because if I was your dad, I'd be in jail."""

"1) In the interest of time, would ye noble patriots please provide a list of infractions punishable by spontaneous public execution? Thanks!"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One! But the light bulb has to WANT to change."

"What's the Cuban national anthem? ""Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."""

"I'm an adrenaline junkie and an agoraphobic. I talked to the mailman through the door once, that was a rush delivered. Edit: delivered."

"[Pizza falls on the ground] Hold HOLD! -Germ boss telling his minions not to jump on the pizza until it's been a full five seconds."

"Miss Piggy Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because when she gets to 69, there's a frog in her throat"

"Everyone have a Good Friday! ...I'll show myself out"