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Joke of the Day

"You heard what Pedro the weatherman reported? Chili today, hot tamale"

"PMS: I'm sorry. ME: Why? It's a good day. PMS: Wait for it. ME: [2 secs later] DID MY PARENTS REALLY TAKE MY DOG TO A FARM WHEN I WAS 5?!"

"Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I might have to kiss tomorrow..."

"What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner!"

"Teacher: Bob, how do you make a nail plural? Dumb Bob: You add S. T: *amazed* Yes! Come up to the board and show us. DB: [writes] SNAIL"

"The baby Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, ""I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this..."" ""Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault."""

"What do you call a president crossing the road? A presidestrian"

"Amelia Earfart was the first woman to transatlantic fart around the world. it was silent but deadly. i love you."

"I like my coffee like i like my men... not inside me."

"Why can't you eat cereal in the Matrix? Because there is no spoon."