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Joke of the Day

"Studies show people who carry tactical knives with flashlights are less confident guessers. They never take a stab in the dark."

"I just saw an 8 year old hipster. Your move, apocalypse."

"What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek? ""Together, we can stop this shit."""

"What do you call a cross between two KKK members? Burning"

"Do you know about the constantly airborne bird species native to Holland? It Netherlands."

"""Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!"" - people with stupid names"

"What does Salvador Dahli eat for breakfast? Surreal."

"Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby."

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793 You were too lazy to read that number"

"What's the difference between reading the Bible and talking shit? None."