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Joke of the Day

"Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby."

"Who was the most powerful cat in China ? Chairman Miaow !"

"I just came up with a new word! Plagiarism!"

"You can tell a lot about a person just by noticing how they continue to talk after you've sighed six or seven times."

"1. Go to seminary. 2. Get degree. 3. ??? 4. Prophet."

"SIX PHASES OF THE MONTH IN NAVY RECRUITING 1. ENTHUSIASM 2. DISILUSIONMENT 3. PANIC 4. SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY 5. PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT 6. PRAISE AND HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS"

"A Prostitute offered me holy water the other day... Still not sure what hole it came from."

"Sure, I could live a pious life so St. Peter lets me through the Pearly Gates. Or I could just crawl under the gate since IT SITS ON A CLOUD"

"When's a door not a door? When it's slightly ajar."

"Did you hear that Napoleon broke the Sphinx's nose with a singe shot? It was a one-hit wonder. I'll show myself out."