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Joke of the Day

"""Oh my god I can't believe someone would pronounce my name exactly how it's spelled!!!"" - people with stupid names"

"How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb? Doesn't matter. All they're going to do is stand around and talk about changing it."

"(NSFW) Why does Beyonce sing ""To the left, to the left""? Because niggers have no rights. or Option 2: Because women have no rights."

"Idea: Always carry around a chicken, so if you're murdered your chalk outline won't just be the same old boring shit."

"On a scale of 1 to Osama... How good was the hiding spot?"

"What did one pancake say to the others as it was tossed off the griddle into the air? See you on the flip side."

"Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and ""we'll see what happens"" is considered inappropriate."

"A door walks into a bar The bartender asks, ""Why the long face?"" The door responds, ""I'm off my hinges."""

"For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be."

"I'm allergic to Everclear. It makes me break out.. Into handcuffs."