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Joke of the Day

"Some people are like prawn. No guts, no spine, and a head full of shit."

"I spilled spot remover on my dog Now he's gone."

"I wanted to write a poem about you but I'm having a difficult time finding the words to rhyme with chlamydia infected narcissistic harpy whore."

"The ""we're going to need a bigger boat"" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store."

"An angry Hillary storms into Satan's office and yells ""You told me I was going to win!"" Satan looks up from the paper and says, ""Well, you told me you had a soul."""

"I wasn't dropped as a baby, but I've been making up for it ever since."

"How do you know Adam and Eve weren't Chinese? They would have eaten the snake"

"What's worse that biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion."

"Why did the post office get sued? For Mail-Practice!!"

"Why was the waffle jealous of the pancake? The pancakes was flattered."