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Joke of the Day
"I wasn't dropped as a baby, but I've been making up for it ever since."
Next Joke
"How do you get down off of an elephant? You dont. You get down off a goose."
"Wild horses could easily drag me away from anything, even from my favorite activity. Wild horses are super crazy strong."
"What does a baby look like in a microwave? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate."
"If asked at a job interview ""what's your biggest weakness"", test their tolerance for honesty by replying ""mortality"""
"I have just read an interesting dictionary. It had literally no metaphors. I'll ^show^myself^out..."
"Accepting a Facebook friend request from someone you follow on twitter is like bringing home your drug dealer to meet your family."
"Who is the smartest person in the world, doing the silliest thing right now? Apparently, that's you."
"If you don't leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn't get your money's worth."
"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar? they each got 6 months"