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Joke of the Day

"What can turn a fruit into a vegetable? Aids."

"[paddling along the amazon silently in a kayak] wife: ""it's so beautiful"" me: ""can you believe they named this after a website?"""

"Why shouldn't you play American football with feminists? Because they'll constantly shift the goal posts."

"4, 6, 8 and 9 have all been killed... 2, 3, 5, 7 and 11 are the prime suspects."

"I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again."

"What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories!"

"Why does nobody ever talk about Jack the Ripper's sleazier French cousin? Jock the stripper."

"I'm a Poet... and I didn't even realise until just then."

"If you fall I will be there - Floor"

"I really only know one thing about Ebola. For some reason, it makes you really wanna go to the airport."