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Joke of the Day
"What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories!"
Next Joke
"Dad joke Do any of you, when going poop, say ""Get out of me you piece of shit!"" And then chuckle cuz it's a literal piece of shit?"
"As a politician... You need to shake hands & kiss babies... ...and take good care not to confuse the two."
"Cat lovers."
"If you have Parkinson's disease... ...that means you stutter in sign language."
"I wear lipstick when I go into Walmart so people know I'm not approachable or one of their kind"
"[stranded on Mars] me: [journal day 1] I have enough rations for 300 maybe 400 days me: [journal day 2] I am out of rations"
"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a gynecologist? A gynecologist will shake a woman's hand before grabbing their pussy."
"Why did Jesus have to walk everywhere? He drove a Ford."
"I was fighting with my wife over the arrangement of the dining-room furniture. I thought I had won but when I got home from work the tables were turned."