41996

Joke of the Day

"How do I raise my kids? Simple, I grab them under their arm pits, bend at the knees and stand up, how else would you do it?"

Next Joke
 
"What does a gay guy say when he can't remember? I faggot"
"The reality is that a lot of girls out there just aren't prepared for a nice, decent guy."
"Sorry I threw sliced bread at you when you were taking a duck face selfie"
"You had me at ""I bet I can get that whole thing in my mouth."""
"A man goes to the hospital after shoving 6 toy horses in his ass... After a thorough inspection, the doctor stated his condition was stable."
"My wife called me a child. I told her, be careful who you're calling a child because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert."
"Having a crush is weird bc one minute you're a normal person and then out of nowhere you're like damn I wanna bake that boy a pie"
"Dear son, your art is getting you nowhere. Do something with your life. With love, Alois Hitler."
"I hope the Olympics has taught kids and parents that in real life you do not get a trophy just for participating."