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Joke of the Day

"Having a crush is weird bc one minute you're a normal person and then out of nowhere you're like damn I wanna bake that boy a pie"

"My wife just said that Twilight is better than The Lost Boys. I don't think there's a jury in the world that would convict me."

"Storks leave cute babies. Crows leave ugly babies. Swallows leave no babies!"

"My girlfriend has a fire crotch. Or as it's scientifically known, ""Chlamydia""."

"What does a computer eat when it's hungry? Chips -- one byte at a time."

"What does an 80 year old lesbian taste like? Depends"

"I was seeing this one girl for two months Until she found out I was there."

"Do you know where my mexican hat is? - It's somewhere bro.. Fine...a sombrero, but what I'm asking is have you seen it?"

"I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see."

"My wife laughed at me because I struggled to get a proper full on erection, I told her ""Its a lot harder than it looks"""