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Joke of the Day

"Having a crush is weird bc one minute you're a normal person and then out of nowhere you're like damn I wanna bake that boy a pie"

"What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem? A fungi to hang out with"

"Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out ""Is anyone there?"" I've seen the movies...those people always die!"

"Little Johnny & the Devil A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, ""Do you believe in the Devil?"" ""No,"" said Little Johnny. ""It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."""

"If Trump wins I'm moving to my last Sim City 2000 save file."

"How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb? I thought 12, but the basements still dark."

"Joke request: Offensive white guy jokes As a white guy I'm feeling left out. Anybody know any good offensive white guy jokes?"

"[Penn and Teller getting a loan for their comedy act] ""Ok all you guys need is a name"" *they look around bank for ideas*"

"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."

"A set of jump leads walk into a bar... The barman looks at them, and says, ""Alright, I'll serve you, just don't start anything."""