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Joke of the Day
"Waiter waiter there's a bee in my soup. Yes Sir it's the fly's day off."
Next Joke
"Today I got a job offer as a Mexican child kidnapper... ...Gracias, pero no pedo."
"Age 20: ""You free for lunch?"" ""Yeah, meet you there now."" Age 30: ""You free for lunch?"" ""Yes, let's schedule it in for 3 weeks from now."""
"Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!"
"Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner? Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines."
"[Mother's Day text to my wife] Don't let the kids know I sent this but do you know where we keep the powdered sugar and band-aids?"
"I liked Kim Jong-un better when he sang Gangnam Style."
"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes"
"Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump."
"I have an idea for a make-your-own hotdog place It's called ""What's the Wurst That Could Happen?"""