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Joke of the Day

"I want to believe Pistorius...... ... But it's pretty clear his argument doesn't have a leg to stand on"

"Unless you're a direct descendent of a horse, don't chew with your mouth open."

"There should be an app that, in the event of your death, your phone will seek the nearest toilet & submerge itself, destroying all evidence"

"What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman."

"A port-a-potty truck blocked my car in at work so I couldn't leave.. But hey, shit happens."

"Only one Chinese man lived in my hometown, and I still couldn't tell him apart."

"Kidnapping is the most misleading term ever I've had these kids in my trunk for an hour and I can't get them to stop screaming let alone nap"

"I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn't care..... Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0"

"What do your mom and a camel have in common? They both spit."

"Yo mama so fat... ...every year she win the Mrs. Hungary Pageant without even entering."