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Joke of the Day

"There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve.. It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to crash."

"I was stranded in the swamp for days with no food I had no choice but to hunt down large white birds and eat them. Through the whole ordeal, I found myself filled with egret."

"Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you're the crazy one."

"I like my coffee how I like my women Without someone else's dick in it."

"I dunno who decided on the spelling of bologna, but it's obvious he had no idea how letters work."

"Speed dating, but instead of talking, you just exchange phones for 3 minutes and try to glean as much information from them as you can."

"I'm not religious until you need help moving on a Sunday."

"I hit a guy with my car the other day. Don't worry, it wasn't serious. well... I was laughing. He might have been too, I didn't stop to find out."

"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? You suck his cock!"

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Its fucking in tents"