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Joke of the Day

"I hit a guy with my car the other day. Don't worry, it wasn't serious. well... I was laughing. He might have been too, I didn't stop to find out."

"A man came into the emergency room with six plastic toy horses in his ass... The doctors say his condition is stable."

"A realistic Applebee's commercial would show a collection of recently divorced dads blankly staring at the bar's televisions."

"Sausages... They're the wurst."

"If Silver Surfer and Iron man... If Silver Surfer and Iron man began working together, they'd be alloys"

"I wish there were more dry sex acts like dry-humping. I think I'd really enjoy dry 69."

"Ok how about a nail polish line for office ladies with colors like Legal pad, Non-dairy creamer, Mug stain, Excel, Boss neck..."

"Why did the chicken get an ouija board? To contact those who had crossed over to the other side."

"I only do yoga so I can hold my arms up long enough to get my hair in a ponytail."

"Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the Like' button is below)"