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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean? You have a Dell, rolling in the deep."

"If there's one thing my English major girlfriend has taught me, It's what a colon does."

"I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that. You cheat! think your so smart, Making me believe your the most important... pfft!"

"what do you call a hooker with a runny nose? full."

"spraypainting ""CHEATER"" on my car to make it look like im sexually active"

"I just found out Nicki Minaj isn't animated!"

"Mind: Be careful to protect yourself and don't jump right in. Heart: CANNONBALL!!!"

"What did the bee call his military mission? ""Operation pollination"""

"What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend? See ya next month."

"[paddling along the amazon silently in a kayak] wife: ""it's so beautiful"" me: ""can you believe they named this after a website?"""