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Joke of the Day

"Plastic Surgeon Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?"

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"Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday? Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!"
"Worst part of my old job was drug screenings. Had to tell a guy he was pregnant. Lesson: don't use your girlfriend's urine for testing."
"He always wanted a woman that would devour him whole like a gas station roasted chicken. She always wanted a gas station roasted chicken."
"Today we our throwing one of our Asian employees a supplies birthday party. I got him a highlighter."
"How do mob boss mules open doors? With Don-keys."
"I was eating at an Indian restaurant when a homeless man came in and asked the girl behind the counter if they had any food he could have. She told him there was Naan."
"I don't mind head lice, unless I have to take them out of people's hair. But that's just me nitpicking."
"If you're ever unsure whether a person is a muppet or a human try shoving your hand up their ass."
"Arnold Schwarzenegger goes to a Halloween party. The theme is ""Dead Classical Composers""... When asked who he'll dress up as, Arnold says, ""I'll be Bach."""