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Joke of the Day

"This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer"

"Your car took up two spaces, so I tried to move it over with my key."

"Why do people like office parties AND this joke? The punch line."

"What did Jesus do to lose weight? Crossfit"

"What do you call unpredictable nudity? Erratica."

"My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I have a gambling problem I think she's bluffing"

"Just joined Anonymous Anonymous. This time I'm serious about breaking my addiction to hacking government websites."

"What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit."

"Dear McDonald's cashier, Don't give me that look, there's no age limit on a happy meal. Sincerely, don't forget the toy b!tch."

"So I started chatting up this Asian girl after a little while she said, sex, sex, sex, free, sex for you. Her friend quickly pointed out that she was giving me her phone number 666-3642"