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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a gap year student and a girl with a boyfriend walk into a bar Who tells you first?"

"trolls have found a terrible new way to antagonize me. it is called ""retweeting"" and it works by exposing my posts to scammers & crumb bums."

"What's the difference between a quid and a pound? I can't quid my dick into your mom."

"Me: My head hasn't been in the right place lately. GF: You might want to check up your ass."

"What do you call it when a flight attendant gets pregnant? Pilot error."

"I found some good cookie recipes with weed the other day. Then I was like, ""That's a weird place to keep cookie recipes""."

"What is a pirate's favourite letter? Aye."

"I was told my dad was stealing from his construction job and I didn't want to believe it But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Chuck Norris is so bad he makes viruses sick. As such, Chuck Norris is also responsible for the eradication of smallpox."

"What happens when a controlled fire goes out of control? Someone gets fired."