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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between eating out pussy and drinking American Beer? Pussy only tastes like piss in the beginning."

"If ANY of my posts have made even one person's day better,, then there's something seriously wrong with that person"

"The cow says ""Moo."" The pig says ""Oink."" The dog says Ed..ward."

"Crabs can't eat hotdogs because they just keep cutting them into tinier and tinier hotdogs."

"Strawberries are like porn stars. They both have the seed on the outside."

"People say Steve Jobs died too soon I think it was a fitting metaphor for Apple's attitude to battery life. -Frankie Boyle"

"I'm going to name my penis Hitler... ...because with one stroke it ends millions of lives in the shower."

"""911, what's your emergency?"" ""My kids are being jerks."" ""Hey, Christian, you can't keep calling here."" ""Are you gonna send help?"" ""..."""

"How did the snowman get happy? The snowblower came around"

"Ray Rice should start his own line of elevator music. He could call it ""Elevator Beats""."