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Joke of the Day

"""911, what's your emergency?"" ""My kids are being jerks."" ""Hey, Christian, you can't keep calling here."" ""Are you gonna send help?"" ""..."""

"How do you know when a mongol is level? He's drooling from both corners of his mouth."

"Q: What does a cat sleep on? A: A caterpillow."

"Dating Tips. C all her 69 times a day. R ing her doorbell and hide. E avesdrop by phone tapping. E ye her bffs. P oke her on FB."

"I've got loads of jokes about undelivered letters. But people just don't get them."

"I think my wife has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more and more evil... ...I don't know how much she charges him."

"Life teachings Q: What do you call it when your child teaches you something they are interested in? A: Learning from your mistakes."

"What do you call someone with a spice garden on Gallifrey? A Thyme Lord."

"Looks like Erdogan had to quit... ...cold Turkey. [](/rimshot)"

"What's the worst thing about being a black jew? . . You gotta sit in the back of the oven"