46870

Joke of the Day

"What is Oscar Pistorius's new favourite band? Bullets For My Valentine"

"Sometimes I feel like a pelican Whichever way I look, I can see a huge bill.."

"so a law school student walks into a bar- -exam and walks out a lawyer! good job I'm so proud of him."

"They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer.... So I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him."

"Q: When should you charge a battery? A: When you can't pay cash."

"Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside"

"""Is my butt is too big?"" my girlfriend asked, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Sensing a trap, I fell to the ground and played dead."

"Why is it bad to have a strong American dollar? It's harder to break bills."

"The girl in front of me sped up so I did too. She started to run, just like me. Then she yelled for help, me too. I wonder what we fled from"

"It's good Michelangelo wasn't around for twitter. Be a bummer to see him rt'ing whenever someone said how majestic the Sistine Chapel was."