41039

Joke of the Day

"How does someone stop ISIS? Change their name to past tense, WASWAS."

"Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?"

"I will totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal, you unfrosted weirdo."

"Why are karate people always breaking boards? Did boards kill their parents?"

"I'm Handsome If sex with three people is a threesome, and sex with two people is a twosome, it's no wonder people call me handsome."

"Why don't I enjoy certain middle eastern food? Because it just makes me falafel."

"Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night."

"""Omg there's a picture of him blowing smoke out of his mouth. I must bang him this instant""- no one, ever."

"I tried giving my cat a bath... but I keep getting hair in my mouth"

"What do you call a pile of cats? A Meow-tain."