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Joke of the Day

"What do fish think about air? It's UN-B-REATHABLE!"

"Me: *Rubbing Chin* Why am I always hungry 30 mins after I eat Chinese food? Chin: [pushing my hand away}I dunno man I just deliver the food."

"The guy who invented throat lozenges just died... I heard there will be no coffin at his funeral."

"How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend? With a John Deere letter."

"How is a Ska band the opposite of a rhinocerus? Horns in the back Asshole up front."

"What has four hairy legs and likes to fuck my sister? My dad and I."

"If people don't wish to discuss the cruel existential futility of all human endeavour they shouldn't say.. ...Good Morning in the first place."

"I dreamt about a horse last night. It turned out to be a night mare."

"The best thing about hand sanitizer in hospitals isn't the hygiene. It's everyone walking around like they're hatching an evil plan."

"John was at the 17th floor of a building. John hop off from the ledge and began to fall. Why didn't John die? John is a bird."