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Joke of the Day

"How is a Ska band the opposite of a rhinocerus? Horns in the back Asshole up front."

"Who did the baker bring to work? His doughter."

"- How can you always be such a happy person? - I never argue with people. - That's impossible! - You're right! That's impossible."

"So sick of hearing how sexy guys with accents are. I've had my Hyundai Accent since '04 & not one girl has complimented it yet."

"If you're an American in the living room what are you in the bathroom? European."

"How many libertarians? How many libertarians does it take to screw in a light-bulb? None. The market will take care of it."

"My X made the worst coffee. I thought it was grounds for divorce."

"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Hot."

"*puts dreamcatcher above bed* ""Sure hope this works"" *wakes up in the middle of the night* *Ryan Gosling is stuck in dreamcatcher* ""YES"""

"Two gerbils....(NSFW) ...are walking down the street and come up to a gay bar. One turns to his friend and asks. >Wanna go inside and get shit faced? Lemmiwinks is your clue."