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Joke of the Day

"Somebody told me I was condescending today. Since you probably don't know what that means, its when you talk down to people."

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"Brunos are from Mars, Freddies are from Mercury."
"My grandma was recently beaten to death.. She came in just after my granddad"
"Who uses a Rubik's Fleshlight? Incubators."
"Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler's Lisp"
"You can run but you can't hide Is a funny thing to say to children with asthma"
"Welcome to twitter, the support group for people who like people who don't like people."
"My girlfriend wanted me to be more like her ex. So I dumped her."
"Cop: Have you been drinking? Me: *sips beer Cop: That was stupid. Me: So was your question."
"What do you call a Massachusite who cuts down trees? _In a New England accent..._ A Boston lager. . . . . . I made this up yesterday in the car."