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Joke of the Day
"Google Glass is the Segway of eyes."
Next Joke
"What do you call a drunk Muslim? Hammad. What do you call a really drunk Muslim? Mohammad"
"What dog would you want on your American football team? A golden receiver!"
"Things I use my car for, from most to least: 1)Tweeting while parked 2)Snacking 3)Transporting bugs that can fly but are lazy 4)Driving"
"I read a couple of interesting articles... ""A"" and ""The"""
"If I had a dollar for every time I read ""OP is a racist"" I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read"
"Me: Siri, how hot does fire need to be to burn a body. Siri: Kris, we go over this once a week. Make a note."
"Dark Humour - Baby in Blender Q : When you put a baby into a blender, why do you put her in legs first ? A : So that you can see the expression on the face........."
"What did the helicopter... What did the helicopter dick spinner say to initiate gyration? GO GO GADGET!!"
"My worst fear is seeing one of my tweets marked as ""exhibit A"""