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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar for every time I read ""OP is a racist"" I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read"

"Whenever I get a message that begins with ""Hey Stranger"" I know I'm about to be asked for a favor by someone I don't want to help."

"How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm? They'll both bite at anything!"

"""How fast can you hack into the system!?"" ""20-25 minutes."" ""You've got 10 minutes!"" ""Okay, well then I can't."" - real life spy dialogues"

"Last night I lay in bed ...looking up at the beautiful stars shining in the night sky. And I thought to myself... Where the heck is the ceiling?!?"

"What do Bill Clinton and Dick Cheney have in common? Both shot someone in the face while in office."

"Why don't they allow computers in prison? Is it because of the escape button? I think it's because of the escape button."

"I hope it's true that girls eventually turn into their mothers, because this girl I just ran over has a mother who's alive."

"What did the man say after he got into a fight with the amputee? You stumped me!"

"They should come out with a CSI Atlanta, with an all black cast. But each episode would be about finding who murdered the English language."