40684

Joke of the Day

"A man and a boy are walking through a dark forest. The boy says to the man ""I'm scared."" The man says, ""You're scared? I have to walk out of here alone!"""

"Ladies, if he tells you he's 6 feet & 4 inches, be sure those aren't two separate measurements."

"How did Napoleon eat his chicken? HE PULLED THE BONESAPART! Lol and a rock for yuhhhhh!"

"..because I always go through the punch-line first I'm usually buzzed by the end of the cake-line.."

"What's long and smells like shit? The unemployment line."

"If at first you don't succeed.. .. skydiving probably isn't for you anyway."

"Pun challenge My friend entered a pun tournament this weekend and had to submit 10 puns. When I asked if he won, he told me ""No pun in ten did"""

"What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? You wipe it off and say sorry."

"""I'm so pissed I could punch a ba-"" ""A what?"" Big Baby from Toy Story 3 hovers over me, sawed-off shotgun in hand. ""A bagel. I HATE carbs."""

"What's black, blue, and hates sex? The five year old boy in my basement."