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Joke of the Day

"..because I always go through the punch-line first I'm usually buzzed by the end of the cake-line.."

"Guys, you should really try removing the key above enter on your keyboard. Trust me, you'll never go back"

"RIP to the Italian chef, it's nice to gnocchi pasta pizzafully."

"Dad: I'm so hungry. Me: Hi, so hungry I'm son! *Dad turns head very slowly* [camera cuts to Dad patting down pile of dirt with shovel]"

"What are a priest's favourite symphony... The ones that start with a#(minor)"

"This is your Captain speaking AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING"

"My neighbor was going out of town and asked if I'd feed their cat. I said sure... ...to what?"

"Hey England, Happy Fourh of July!!! Britain: ""What happened to the T?"" America: ""We threw it in the Harbor!"""

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that, it's a tie!"

"What does Harry Potter call his penis? His Magic Johnson."