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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle? You wipe it off and say sorry."

"Did you hear about the Native American who tried to break the world's record for drinking tea? They found him dead in his Tee Pee."

"My 8-Year old patient was so pround, mom was not. Q: What type of bees make milk? A: BOO-Bees! And then he just couldn't stop laughing. Mom turned 50 shades of red and blamed dad. Good times."

"There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who where expecting a ternary joke."

"Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case!"

"We're sorry Micky Mouse, but your wife being crazy is not reasonable grounds for a divorce! I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

"What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden? Rudolph's red hose rain gear..."

"Why didn't the skeleton go for the halloween party ? He had ""No body "" to go with."

"How is a woman like KFC? After you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box."

"[wife explaining to me how deaths in movies work] So the actors really don't die? ""No"" So is Abraham Lincoln really not dead? *she sighs*"