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Joke of the Day

"Sex with two is a twosome, sex with three is a threesome. Why do you think guys are called handsome?"

"So Kim Jong Un helps a little girl's starving family Oops I put the punchline in the title"

"You've taken 3 pregnancy tests this month. ""What's your point"" My point is that your shoplifting is odd and out of control Eric."

"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"

"""To Kill a Mockingbird"" ""Oh, I just used a slingshot."""

"I used to play hard to get until I realized that I was hard to want"

"I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious."

"It is so cold outside that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pocket"

"Son : Dad.... This movie is so scary... Is that woman going to die?? Dad : Judging by the size of that horse's dick, Yes she is"

"I tried throwing away my old boomerang but it keeps coming back"