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Joke of the Day
"Gary Busey speaks in Wingdings font."
Next Joke
"Mention me in your will. Just give me a shout out or something."
"My boss is so nit picky that he's not even a micro manager... ...he's a quantum manager."
"What is Darth Vader's least favorite band? Faith No More"
"I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts."
"Why are statistics more believable with a larger sample size? The Ns justify the means."
"CNN is like a strip club... They keep dancing around all the polls."
"What did one tampon say to the other?... Nothing, They're all stuck up cunts!"
"Yo mommas so old... She sees Dr. Grant."
"Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis? Cause Allies don't like axis powers"