203902
Joke of the Day
"How did the Manicurist feel after her salon was robbed? Defiled."
Next Joke
"I got my first ejaculation today... I did not see that comming..."
"My mom yelled at me when I said I have never used a condom. Then I told her it was because I'm a virgin at 24 years old. So, my dad yelled at me instead."
"A patient said to a psychiatrist, ""I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint."" The psychiatrist said, ""Sounds like you have a gilt complex."""
"[math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken"
"What's Snoop Dogg's favorite time of day? Tree O'clock!"
"Overheard a teenager watching Armageddon for the 1st time (after Bruce Willis blows up): ""lol at least the hot one lived (Ben Affleck)."""
"Caught my wife cheating with the neighbor today so I smashed our big screen tv onto his head. That will teach them to prewatch the jeopardy dvr and try to outscore me without me knowing!"
"I left my Adderral in my Ford Fiesta I came back to a Ford Focus"
"A Triceratops was recently found frozen in the ice... ... upon closer inspection it turned out to be a tricicle."