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Joke of the Day

"? Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? Just like me, they long to be... ? Wait, hang on...my bad, those are vultures."

"Miley Cyrus is a strictly american phenomenon... most everywhere else in the world, she'd be Kilometery Cyrus"

"I finished a burrito 5 minutes ago and I wish there was more. I now understand every Taylor Swift song."

"Wanna Know SomeThing Funny? My Amount Of Karma."

"What does a redneck do on Halloween? Pumpkin"

"Google just called, they want to put a camera on your mom... ... they heard she makes it around the block faster than their street view cars."

"My questionnaire for dogs: 1. Do you like to get pet 2. Who is a good boy 3. Is it you"

"I'm an atheist but if lightning struck Trump during his victory speech I'd become a monk."

"What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad? One goes ""ribbit ribbit"", the other goes ""rub it rub it""."

"I think the royal baby will be called Diana She'll be crashing into our lives any minute now."