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Joke of the Day

"I finished a burrito 5 minutes ago and I wish there was more. I now understand every Taylor Swift song."

"How do you end world hunger? Put Turkey in Greece to cook it, then cut it up and put it into Chile. Then put it on China and give it to Hungary."

"Q: What do a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in."

"Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally? He was just two tired."

"Cemetery I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a guy behind a gravestone. I said ""Morning."" He replied, ""No, just taking a shit."""

"Why is Helen Kellers belly button bruised? Her boyfriend is blind too."

"We were so poor Dad could only afford to drink 3-4 nights a week."

"Why do Asians have squinty eye balls? Because Atomic Bombs are pretty bright..."

"I just met a woman who told me she had ""trouble keeping weight on"" in times of stress. I ate her."

"Why do all the elements get cranky once a month? Cause they are on their periodic table."