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Joke of the Day

"My mom laughed when I said me and my brother Al were gonna build a car out of tacos... You should have seen her face when I drove Al pastor."

"how do you kill a blonde with only one arm that climbed a lamppost? You wave to her."

"ME: You're saying I'm not smart enough for this job? BOSS: Well, yes. ME: [points to computer] Just because I can't use the typewriter TV?"

"Whenever someone says ""I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart"", all I hear is ""I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart""."

"Coffee is nature's way of saying ""Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!"""

"Why are there no guys named William serving in the army? Because they dislike the phrase ""Fire at Will"""

"Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes... That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away and you'll have his shoes."

"How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies? 10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms"

"Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag? A: ""What did you name the other one?"""

"If my body ran half as much as my mind did, I would never have to skip dessert"