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Joke of the Day

"how do you kill a blonde with only one arm that climbed a lamppost? You wave to her."

"I used to be the 2nd best boxer in North America... I boxed in over 100 matches and always came 2nd"

"If ""The Purge"" was real, I'd hide in Aeropostale cause no one has been there since like 2009"

"I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier. Must be going through a tough period in her life."

"Reddit servers... Sorry if repost"

"My overnight bag is just a backpack full of Sour Patch Kids."

"ABORTION BILL A congressional aide asks a politician, ""What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"" The politician replied, ""Shhhhh -- just pay it."""

"I've been ""watching my weight"" and, rest assured, it's still there."

"If I had 2 fish I would name them 1 and 2 so if 1 died I would still have 2."

"I like my jokes how I like my babies. Stolen and beaten to death."