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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone says ""I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart"", all I hear is ""I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart""."

"What's denser than a feminist? Water. . . . . Water is denser than fat"

"Big shoutout to my great grandmother She can't hear me otherwise"

"What's the worst thing about Fridays? Realizing it's only Tuesday."

"""i before me, excepts after we.."" - gollum in elementary school"

"""Honey"" said Mrs. Beldon to her husband ""Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia."" ""Encyclopedia my eye!"" exclaimed Beldon. ""Let him walk to school like I did."""

"A guy goes to the Olympics and sees a man carrying a long pole. The guy asks - Are you a pole vaulter? The man replies - No I'm German - how did you know my name is Walter?"

"Why didn't the koala get a job? He didn't have enough koalifications!"

"Me: Sorry I got drunk and ate all the bacon. Wife: You ate Beggin' Strips. *me to the dog* Sorry I got drunk and ate all of your bacon."

"""There's a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!"" He must be in Seine."